This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
