Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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