I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
