youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
