I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
