umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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