Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
