Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
bring money and cleavage
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
