Midget sex pt 2 tonight
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
