you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
