We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
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