She said her name was "party"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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