so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
