i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
