We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
