i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
