Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
