are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
