when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize