I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
