first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
