WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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