Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's rum buckets o'clock
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
