i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize