Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
