and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
