theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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