It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
