I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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