Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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