Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
