do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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