i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
