you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
