It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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