She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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