would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize