bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
