Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
