Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
