How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
