Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
