When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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