You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just had sex bonerless
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
