So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
