My brain says no but my pants say off.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
