My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
