There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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