I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
