Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize