Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm having to shit out rocks
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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