He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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