whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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