weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
