You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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