I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
