no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
