Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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