...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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